Internet Dating; Looking For Commitment

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The reasons for joining an internet dating service are varied. Those who are serious in finding someone special are looking for commitment. They’re ready to share their life.

People come in all shapes and sizes. When it comes to internet dating what people are looking for is just as varied. If you’re looking for serious commitment, you want to avoid those who aren’t.

Someone’s relationship status is a good place to start. “Married” means attached. They’re on the site for a fling, nothing more. “Separated” is also still married, but likely on the verge of divorce and testing the dating pool. Neither is commitment material. “Divorced” means available, at least legally. It’s important however to determine how long the person has been divorced. If they’ve just signed their divorce papers, they’re not likely to want to commit to someone else so soon.

Pay attention to the type of relationship someone is looking for. Too often people initiate communication with someone who clearly is not looking for a long term commitment. Those seeking “Intimate Encounters” are looking for sex. Period.

Be on the lookout for the word “casual” anywhere in someone’s profile When you’re looking for a committed relationship, “casual” is not in your vocabulary, so take a pass.

Pay attention to the profile photos. If someone is serious about finding a partner for life, they’ll post the most flattering photos of themselves. And that doesn’t include pics of parties with dozens of friends at a bar. The same holds true of body shots like pecs, abs, muscles and more.

Pay attention to who he or she talks about in their profile. If immediate family and close friends are an important part of his or her life then chances are good that they’re responsible and looking to commit. If all you read is talk about good time friends, then settling down is the furthest thing from their mind.

What kind of a person is your potential match looking for? Are personal character and traits mentioned? People who mention deal breakers like children, drugs, smoking and other personal qualities have given thought to who they want to spend their life with. If the only mention is that their ideal date must have large breasts, or be good looking, they’re really not serious about finding true love.

Internet Dating; Be On The Lookout For These Red Flags

You’ve taken the plunge and signed up for an internet dating site. You’ve spent considerable time creating an amusing profile complete with photos. You’ve done your best to showcase yourself in a positive light.

Now the fun begins; it’s time to start searching for the man or woman of your dreams. Using the site’s built in search, you select your dream date’s criteria, hit the search button and wait for the results. Seconds later, your matches are displayed.

Now before you get too comfortable reading them, here are some things you should watch out for when looking for your Prince or Princess Charming. Qualities that speak volumes about a person, in a less than flattering way!

Spitefulness. The occasional sarcastic remark disguised as a joke is amusing. But if your date has nothing but sarcastic and critical things to say about the people in his or her life, think twice. Ask yourself this question; If your date says nothing upbeat and encouraging about anyone else, what is he or she going to say about you?

Past relationships. Almost everyone has had one, and that in itself is not an issue. But if your date has a half a dozen scary relationship stories, it should send up a red flag. You’ve likely had one or two of your own, and hopefully you’ve learned a thing or two, which is all perfectly normal. But someone who is a perennial victim is not likely to have learned anything from past mistakes.

A BIG Chip On Their Shoulder. People who are angry all the time are likely people who haven’t learned anything from their past experiences. Even more important, they blame everyone but themselves for their lack of success in all aspects of their life. You can bet that if you become involved with someone like this you’ll get your share of the blame sooner or later.

Too different. Even though opposites attract, the truth is that there are differences that may be too big to overcome. Things like religion, drugs and whether or not to have kids can all make or break a relationship. Go ahead and have some fun, but it will likely be for the short term rather than a lifetime.

Getting to know someone is one the reasons you date someone. It helps you figure out whether or not that person would make a good lifetime mate or not. If you run across someone with one or more of these red flags, take care in making a decision about dating this person in the future.

Desperate Dater

The dating world can be a cruel one, and it can be particularly unkind to someone who gives off vibes of dating desperation. Chances are that you won’t attract a date anytime soon, and if you do, there will be a first date and likely no second one.

Nothing turns off potential daters faster than appearing so desperate for a date that you’ll do almost anything to get one. In extreme cases, dating desperation can seem almost creepy. At best it’s just kind of sad.

If you’ve ever played golf you know that there is such a thing as trying too hard. The more you concentrate on getting that little white ball into the hole, the worse your golf game becomes. Finding, and keeping, a date is no different. Try too hard and your date will just feel pressured.

How often in the past six months have you told a little white lie to a potential date? If the answer cannot be counted on one hand, then you’re guilty of lying to impress. There are two unfortunate consequences of lying to impress; one, potential daters will sense your insincerity and two, you’ll soon have a reputation as a liar.

As a desperate dater, you want potential dates to like you. So you end up agreeing with everything they say and come off looking like a bobblehead doll what with all the nodding you’re doing! There’s nothing wrong with polite disagreement! That’s what good conversation is made off, and gives you each the chance to learn about each other.

You’re a doormat. You’ve been stood up so many times you’ve lost count, and rather than tell your date how you feel, you simply accept his/her explanation. That’s the sign of a doormat. If you don’t respect yourself, why should anyone else? Self respect is the key to self confidence; and a must if you don’t want to appear desperate.

Do you think you have to sleep with someone in order for them to stick around, even though you don’t think you’re ready? Sleeping with someone before you’re ready is a sure sign of desperation. If you date decides to drop you if you won’t sleep with him/her, then just let them!

It comes down to this; if you’ll date anything with a pulse, you’ll come across as a desperate dater. Do yourself a favor and take some time off. Get comfortable with yourself. Then, and only then, should you pursue dating.